Ace: We've got a positive ID. Whoever these guys are, we're not happy to see them.
Ghost: Let's do this.
Ace: Ghost, two guards at the end of the hall; you take the one on the left, I'll take the one on the right. On 3. One...two...three.
The guards go down.
Ace: Good shot.
Boss: Not bad. You two fight well, for being mongrels.
Ghost: "Mongrels"?
Boss:...Sorry. It's what we clones call non-clones. No offense.
Ghost: None taken.
Ace: Let's keep moving.
Boss: I'll clear this room.
Ace: Copy that.
Boss: Room is clear, sir.
Ghost: Moving down the hall.
Ace: Boss, get in here and clear the room on the right, I'll get this one here.
Boss: Roger that.
Ghost: Room clear. No sign of Makarov, he's not here.
Ace: Alright, let's head back.
Ghost looks out a window; is shot at by a sniper
Ghost: GET DOWN!!
Ace: What was that?!?
Ghost: Enemy sniper! Get to those windows over there, the shot came from the brown building!
Ace: I see him, you want me to take him out?
Ghost: No, draw his fire, I'll take him out.
Ace fires off several rounds. The sniper takes the bait and Ghost quickly puts a round in his head.
Ace: Nice shot. Let's head back, we need to provide overwatch from the front.
Ghost gets the relay from Command that Makarov will be arriving in 15 minutes.
Ghost: Ace, intel says Makarov'll be here inside of 15 minutes.
Ace: Alright, let's intercept him then. Ghost, go in there and watch the road. Boss, on me.
Boss: On it.
Ghost: Ace, you'll want to take a look at this...
Ace: What is it?
Ghost: We've got a tank in that garage there. See it?
Ace: Yeah...
Ace grabs an RPG from the storeroom behind them.
Ace: Tank neutralized.
Boss: Ace, we have an incoming vehicle.
Ace: Alright. Ghost, do you see it?
Ghost: I have eyes on it, yeah. I see four, maybe five subjects getting out.
Ace: Do not fire, I repeat, do not fire. Makarov may be in there. Do we have a positive ID on him?
Ghost: Um...let me run it. Just a minute.
Boss: I'm not sure, sir. Is he big and ugly?
Ace: Negative on that, Boss. Makarov's most distinctive feature is his mismatched eyes.
Boss: Hold on. Someone else is getting out of the transport. Not big, but still ugly. Right eye: Blue. Left Eye: Green.
Ace: Sounds like him. Ghost?
Ghost: Yeah, he's in there. He also has some of his bodyguards with him.
Boss: Well, that explains what "Big and Ugly" is there for.
Ace: Cut the chatter. We need to find a way-
Two guards walk by the window.
Ace: Hold it! Looks like we've got two guards on the road. Ghost; we'll take them together. I'll take the one on the right; you take the one on the left. On three: One-
Boss: Three.
Boss opens up with the Vulcan and unloads most of the belt. The guards go down.
Ace:...Well, I guess that works, too.
Ghost: Hold on, another one just came around the corner. He's seen them.
Boss: I've got him.
Boss fires two shots, but then the Vulcan cuts out as the empty belt is ejected.
Boss: Shab!
Ghost: I've got him.
Ghost, having already acquired a head-lock, fires. Russian Guard goes down.
Ace: Hostile eliminated. Good work, Ghost.
Boss: Thanks, Ghost. Anyone got some more ammo?
Ghost grabs a spare belt from the storage closet and hands it to Boss.
Ghost: Here. Just remember to check the belt more frequently and be more sparing with ammo.
Boss: Thanks.
Ghost: Makarov's coming this way. We need him inside, Ace.
Ace: I know, I know. Keep a watch on him.
After Makarov circles the building several times
Ghost: Ace, he's playing games with us.
Ace: I know, I know. The lights come on.
Ghost: What the-?!
Ace: Get away from the window! One of Makarov's men must've found the generator!
Boss: They're coming upstairs!
Ace: Take Makarov down! We need him alive!
Boss shoots Makarov once in each arm and leg.
Boss: He's not going anywhere.
Ghost: Alright...I'll bring him in here.
Makarov is tied up and begins yelling in Russian.
Ace: Any idea what he's saying?
Ghost: Something about we'll all be dead by tomorrow...not very convincing.
Makarov: (When the Ultranationalists come, you will be sorry!)
Boss slams the Vulcan into Makarov's legs, shattering the bones.
Boss: Next one will be a little higher up, if you know what I mean.
A while later
Makarov's cell phone rings. Ace answers it and listens. He then hangs up and shoots Makarov in the face with his M1911.
Boss: All due respect sir, but...what the heck do you think you are doing?!?!
Ghost: Who was that?
Ace: Zakhaev...Imran Zakhaev.
Boss: Imran Zakhaev?
Ghost: Didn't we kill him years ago?!
Ace: Apparently not.
Boss: That would explain why he's still walking and talking. Dead people tend to not do those sorts of things.
Ghost: Cut the chatter! We've got company! Unarmed Russian!
Ace: Wait. Something's not right... That Russian looks dead...
A large spider-like robot tosses aside its Russian "disguise" and charges at the team. Boss looks over at the robot, trades his Vulcan for a DC-15A, and then fires most of the clip. Robot goes down. Boss shuts the door.
Ace: What the heck was that?!?!
Boss: Assassin Probe hiding behind the Russian. Now, who the heck is Imran Zakhaev?
Ace: Imran Zakhaev was an arms dealer, now leader of the Ultranationalists, I assume. 15 years ago our government put a hit on him, the first assassination order since the Second World War. MacMillian, Ghost and I intercepted an arms deal between him and the Ultranationalists, then a rag-tag group of rebels not widely known. I shot him with a Longshot CS-6, blew his arm off. MacMillan said shock and blood loss would do the rest, but apparently that isn't so.
Ghost: Uh, I hate to interrupt the history lesson, but we got a bit of a "situation"...mainly, little bugs. Lots of them.
Boss: Shab! Shoot them! Don't let them get through!
Ace: What are these things?!
Boss: Probe Killers! They finish the job if the Assassin Probe goes down! Don't let them near you!
Ghost: I take it that you-
Ace: Ghost! Less talking! More shooting!
They take down the Probe Killers.
Ghost: All right. Boss; would you mind explaining how-
Ace: Look out!
A green bug-like creature attacks the team from outside, carrying a strange spear and a strange projectile weapon. Boss takes it down with the Vulcan.
Ghost: Oh, you've got to be kidding me...what's next? Little green men with ray guns?
Ace: What was that?!
Boss: Not sure, but it looked like a Geonosian warrior.
Ghost: So, quick question: What the heck is a Geonosian?!
Boss: Short answer: Flying bug. Long answer: an advanced alien species not from here, obviously. My squad and I took down a number of them on Geonosis. Care to know more?
Ace: Storytime can wait. We need to figure out a plan for tomorrow.
After about half-an hour later, a crudely drawn map is created with positioning for Ace, Ghost and Boss.
Ace: Looks good. Let's hit the sack.
The next morning, after various Geonosian/Ultranationalist attacks
Command: Bravo Six, this is Baseplate. Come in, Bravo Six.
Ace: Baseplate, this is Bravo Six. Copy loud and clear, over.
Command: Bravo Six, we need you for an oil rig mission. It's not far from where you are, but we only need you. We're afraid you'll have to leave Zulu Six and Omega Four behind, do you copy?
Ace: *sighs* Loud copy, over. I'm on my way. Well, looks like Command has other plans. Ghost, you're in charge for the rest of this op. Good luck both of you.
Ghost: Got it. See ya after this.
After Ace has left
Ghost: Alright. Every Russian and their mother is out for our heads now.
Boss: We're going to need more ammo, aren't we?
Ghost: Well, what do you think?!
Boss: ...I'm thinking I should have brought a Z-6. And maybe the Scorpion.
Ghost: Lovely. Any more thoughts?
Boss: It's not just their mothers; Grandmothers too. Imagine: a whole bunch of old women in wheelchairs just rolling towards us with guns. Hopefully arthritis sets in before they get too close.
Ghost: ...Uh...yeah. Anyway, what I meant was do you have a new plan of action?
Boss: Yes, sir. We carry out the same plan, but replace Ace with a remote.
Boss pulls out a metal sphere.
Ghost: A metal baseball?
Boss&TX-58: What's a baseball?
Ghost: ...Never mind. Let's go.
Ghost and Boss and TX-58 take up position.
TX-58: Starting download.
Boss: Here they come!
Ghost: Don't let them get too close! Otherwise they'll interrupt the download!
Boss: Right.
TX-58: Download incomplete.
Boss: What?!
Ghost: Let me take a look!
Boss: OK.
Ghost: (Looking at Russian mainframe) Bloody hell, this hardware is ancient!
Boss: (Looking at an AK-47) No kidding. It's not even electric.
Ghost gives Boss a look. Boss sees the misunderstanding.
Ghost: Restarting download.
A few minutes later
TX-58: Download complete.
Ghost: Now, Boss!
Boss: Right, let's rearrange some architecture.
Boss presses a button. The building starts to explode.
Boss: Shab! It looks like the boys had too much fun with the explosives!
Ghost: Run!
Boss: In there! Go go go!
The two nearly dodge the explosions' fire, ducking into a storage room mere minutes before the flames blasted through.
Ghost: Alright...I think we're safe in here. I'll get Command on the horn to get us out of here.
Boss: Sounds good. I'll keep an eye out for those Russian things.
Ghost: Baseplate, this is Zulu Six, how copy?
Baseplate: Zulu Six, this is Baseplate. Loud copy, over.
Ghost: We need exfil NOW, Baseplate. We have the DSM and the Russians are getting close; they've brought everything form tanks to artillery.
Baseplate: Zulu Six, at this time your request must be denied. Our radar indicates there are enemy birds in the area and we can't risk our men getting shot. Baseplate out.
Ghost: Bollocks! The skies are clear! Send the chopper now! Bloody idiots!
Boss: I take it they're not sending any help?
Ghost: Yeah, Command's got their head in a hole. I'll call Nikolai, see if he can't get us out.
Boss: Nikolai?
Ghost: Old friend of ours, Russian. Defected to us during the Civil War.
Boss: Well, let's hope he can get here fast.
Ghost: Nikolai? It's Ghost, we're at a base in Western Siberia, think you can help?
Nikolai: Da, my friend. I will be there shortly. Try to have the situation under control before I get there, da?
Ghost: Whatever! Just get here as fast as you can!
After holding out for a while, Nikolai arrives.
Ghost: There he is! Let's go!
Boss: Wait! Something's not right!
Ghost: Oh for the love of - Who cares, Boss! Let's go!
Boss: Look out!
An RPG hits Nikolai's Pave Low and he is sent crashing down.
Ghost: NO!!
TX-58: ...Awaiting orders, sir.
Boss: Ghost, Nikolai will be fine. What are your orders?
Ghost: ...Anyone got a Plan C? Plan B just got blown up.
Boss: Don't worry. Nikolai is in good hands. My boys just picked him up. Time for Plan "C". Plan "Clone"!
One hundred LAAT/i gunships descend from the clouds, firing on the Russians. Russian Soldiers drop their guns and run.
Boss: Let's go, Ghost.
Ghost: ...What are those things?
Boss: To us clones, those are the most beautiful things in the whole galaxy. We call them "larties", but they're more commonly known as LAAT/i gunships.
They make for the nearest gunship. A Russian desperately aims an RPG.
Ghost: Look out!
Boss takes a direct hit from the RPG. Another clone with a heavy weapon takes out the Russians while two others drag Boss onto the LAAT/i.
Basil: He'll be fine. Same with the mongrel from the air transport.
Ghost: Who are you people?
Chainer: I'm Chainer. The ones who dragged Boss onto the larty are Bek and Hakiro. We're from Echo Squad.
Ghost: Echo-
Command: Baseplate to Zulu 6, what's your status?
Ghost: This is Zulu 6 to Baseplate. My status is very annoyed. We have the DSM. Omega 4 took a hit from an RPG. Nikolai is gravely injured. Half of Russia is in a panic, while the other half is trying to figure out what happened. Makarov is dead. Imran Zakhaev is alive.
Command: In other words, mission accomplished?
Ghost: ...
Command: ...We'll take that as a "yes". We need you to hunt down Alejandro Rojas in Brazil. Intel has found two possible hideouts.
Ghost: ...Understood. Ghost out.